We love to learn from others and hear about their own experiences. It's why social media is so popular! I've invited my husband to share his journey to couples counseling as well as mine so you can see our own views, fears, and results!
What was your first thought when I told you we would be doing premarital counseling?
My husband: "We don't need this. We don't have any problems."
Me: "I knew I would do some kind of counseling with anyone I married because of my career path and my religious upbringing. I was concerned about the financial cost of it since I was still in school and we had just bought a house."
What was your biggest fear?
My husband: "I was scared something would come up that I didn't know existed and would cause us to not be together. I'm not even sure what I was really scared of."
Me: "I remember you being afraid that she would tell us we shouldn't get married. I had the same fear too about something coming up that I wouldn't know how to deal with or might convince me that I didn't want to marry you anymore."
What do you think our biggest couple issue was when we started?
My husband: "I think our biggest issue was working through disagreements without you ending in tears and me feeling frustrated."
Me: "I would agree. We were stuck in an unhealthy pattern and had trouble resolving the conflicts that would come up."
What surprised you about couples counseling?
My husband: "I was most surprised by the connection I felt to you afterward. It actually brought us closer and didn't just revolve around solving problems. It was there to help us better things that were already excellent. I also learned that you don't have to just go to couples counseling when your relationship needs work, you can just go to better the things that are already great."
Me: "I was surprised at how we kept the conversation going after every session. We really loved using the time on the way home to talk more and start the homework assignments she would give us immediately."
What was the biggest benefit from couples counseling?
My husband: "Learning how to communicate with my partner in a way that I understood and helped you at the same time."
Me: "I think it was learning how to communicate better and focusing on trying to understand each other rather than fix each other."
What skill has stuck with you the most?
My husband: "Being mindful of what both makes you happy and what aggravates you to both please you and avoid conflict in a positive manner."
Me: "Being mindful of how I communicate my needs and wants in our relationship. I learned I have to tell you for you to know instead of assuming you will pick up on how I am feeling."
Would you do it again?
My husband: "Yes! I feel like it would help me continue to feel closer to you."
Me: "Definitely! When should we start?"
Thank you, husband, for sharing your thoughts with me and those of you reading. If you are wanting to work on building a stronger marriage or relationship, reach out today for a free phone consult!