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Writer's pictureRachel Jones

Couples Tool: The Emotion Iceberg

We talk a lot about being curious about your partner and, specifically, their emotions.


Sometimes in our relationship, we see our partner feeling something and it impacts us emotionally as well.


We can react, make assumptions, or reject how they are feeling.


The emotion iceberg is incredibly helpful when it comes to being curious and exploring how your partner is feeling.


Your partner gets to feel how they feel and as their partner, your role is to seek to understand their feelings and try to validate and empathize with them.


I want preference that your partner gets to feel how they feel, but that does not mean they always express how they feel healthily.


Usually, they react how they feel and that is not always healthy.


Please remember your partner is responsible for their emotions and you are responsible for your emotions. It's your responsibility to work on sharing and expressing your emotions so your partner can understand it and to recognize when you are reacting and take a break to self-soothe.


Take a listen to the video to see how to use the Emotion Iceberg.


Names in videos come from a social media comment a few years back. They are not identified clients.


Couples Tool: The Emotion Iceberg


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